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Intimacy Expert  


Intimacy Expert Q&A's
Name: Katherine

My husband and I have been married for a few months. We could never have sexual intercourse, because whenever he tried to penetrate, it hurts and we got to stop.
Is There something wrong with me. I feel like my hole is being blocked. There is no more pleasure as his penis started to penetrate, all I sense is PAIN.
please advise, because this is not healthy for our initial marriage life.

Thank you,

Dear Karen,
There are a number of reasons you may be having pain with penetration. The first appointment you should make is with a gynecologist for a complete evaluation. There are a number of conditions that result in painful penetration: you may have an hymeneal strand blocking or partially blocking the opening to your vagina, you may have a condition called vaginismus that results in pain on penetration, or some other diagnosable and treatable sexual/pain disorder. Stress, anxiety, lack of information about intimacy and/or sexuality, or relationship/emotional distress all contribute to pain/discomfort. The more discomfort, the less lubrication, anxiety, and pleasure. Many couples begin to avoid not only sex, but each other. Don't wait and "hope" this problem resolves itself. Sexual contact should be pleasurable -- it should not hurt! I strongly advise you not to participate in any activities that result in pain, but don't stop all intimate cuddling and closeness and see a trusted health care provider and/or AASECT certified therapist as soon as you can.

Dr. Sandy Scantling
Author of Extraordinary Sex Now.
Visit Dr. Sandy's Web site at:

Information provided by Dr. Scantling is general in nature and should not be construed as a substitute for a visit to and examination by your own personal physician.
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