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Intimacy Expert  


Intimacy Expert Q&A's
Name: Denise

Dear Dr. Scantling,
I am 49 years old, been married for 25 years, and found out, 3 days before Mothers Day that my husband was having an affair. To top that off, I was told, "shes not the first, there were others". We're still together.I Was having sex with him up until about a month and a half ago, then all of a sudden he started to repulse me. All I could think about is that all the same things he does to me, he was doing to other women, then coming home and touch me. I would have sworn he could never cheat on me. What a fool I am. Will I ever get past this
feeling That he repulses me? I am so, so lost. He has taken me out of my wonderful world I was living in, and thrown me into something I have no idea how to handle. Can you help me

Dear Denise,

There's an excellent book I highly recommend you read ASAP titled, "After the Affair" by Janis Springs. It gives step by step suggestions for dealing with all stages of this difficult process.

In the meantime, I hope you're not just ignoring this problem hoping & it will vanish. I suggest some serious couples therapy to address the breach of trust as well as other factors (individual and couples)that may have lead up to the betrayal. If your husband refuses, get into therapy yourself to work through the issues and learn some coping strategies.

Dr. Sandy Scantling
Author of Extraordinary Sex Now.
Visit Dr. Sandy's Web site at:

Information provided by Dr. Scantling is general in nature and should not be construed as a substitute for a visit to and examination by your own personal physician.
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