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Intimacy Expert Q&A's
Name: Rhonda

I am suffering from decreased libido. Lab tests done and they are all normal.

I have been being treated for depression for years with anti-depressants and only occasionally had a problem with desire. My OB/GYN explained to me that it's normal for a woman my age (41) to have decreased libido and that my boyfriend just needs to be patient with me. It's hurting our relationship. Is there anything I can do, other than reduce the stress in my life (which is unlikely), get more rest (I have a teenage daughter with ADHD, ODD and Bipolar Disorder borderlining on Schizophrenia)? I can't stop taking my anti-depressants!

Is there something that he can read to help him be more patient? He thinks that I don't love or want him anymore. Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Thank You

Dear Rhonda,
No, it's not "normal" for a woman age 41 to have decreased libido, but even if it were, that doesn't help you, does it? There are many things you can do to improve your desire, but first you must get an appropriate evaluation. I suggest that you and your boyfriend see a sex therapist who either has prescription authority or works with a prescribing practitioner. There are a number of antidepressants (e.g., Wellbutrin 150 or 300 XL)that are less likely to cause decreased libido, however, it certainly sounds as though your plate is quite full... I'm doubtful that a magic pill will do it for you. Find a professional who can help you find a way to take better care of YOU and help you & your boyfriend improve your intimate relationship.

Dr. Sandy Scantling
Author of Extraordinary Sex Now.
Visit Dr. Sandy's Web site at:

Information provided by Dr. Scantling is general in nature and should not be construed as a substitute for a visit to and examination by your own personal physician.
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