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Relationship Expert Q&A's
Name: eva

Question:
we met 2 years ago -big attraction on both sides. I was sceptical(700 mls dist). But he took a lot of effort (regular visits...) Everyth perfect until mai.felt He was drawing back and asked why. He told me, he had problems with loving in general and therefore cannot really love me. Was in shock- came so unexpected. Took him back, for he told me he was aware of his prob and ready to do sth about it. Then, he left in the middle of the night! Only leaving a letter telling me he loves me, is scared of ruining me+ doesn`t want to abuse me. I had enough then and told him, that I don`t want any more contact. But now he keeps calling, mailing.. Even though I don`t respond. What`s wrong with that guy? He didn`t want me! He is not a cold or mean person+ his family seems normal to me.

Answer:
Read the books! Start with Men Who Can't Love. This guy's story is found over and over again. It's not about being cold or mean, it's about being terrified. Incurably terrified. And don't try to assess his family. You have no way of knowing what happened during his early development, and that's when these problems take shape. The bottom line is this: HE HAS A PROBLEM YOU CAN'T CURE. And he's too cowardly to face his own problem head on (which is why I warn readers about the difference between words and actions), so he ran away in the night.

Steven Carter
Relationship expert and author of 19 books, including the New York Times bestseller, Men Who Can't Love, What Smart Women Know, Getting To Commitment, 'This Is How Love Works' and his newest, Help, I'm In Love With A Narcissist

Read Steven Carter's guest transcripts on Power Surge.

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