Relationship Expert Q&A's

Relationship Expert

Name: barb
Question:
I understand your response completely.While I know that you are very good,I know you aren't a mind reader.(Although Sometimes it seems as if you are.) After reading all of your books, it seems as though they like to be the ones in control and end it through whatever means suits them.There Seemed to be certain predictable patterns.Regardless Of whether or not they want to be with you, it seems like in their minds they think - He/she isn't going to tell me what I can and can't have. Once again, I'm just going on my interpretations of your work.Am I way off base on this?I Do continue to look forward with a very happy outlook, and I hope he will honor my wishes of leaving me alone.You Are right, I did do what I needed to do and I WILL support my language through my behavior!Thanks Again.
Answer:
You're not off base, but you must remember that this behavior is often unconscious behavior, vulnerable to triggers that are out of your control (and, often, out of your circle of perception). That's why it's so important to not put your energy into solving 'him' and pouring your energy into saving you. Steven Carter Relationship expert and author of 19 books, including the New York Times bestseller, Men Who Can't Love, What Smart Women Know, Getting To Commitment, 'This Is How Love Works' and his newest, Help, I'm In Love With A Narcissist Read Steven Carter's guest transcripts on Power Surge.