• The Cycle of Violence

Tension Phase: May last for weeks or months Stress builds during this stage Communication breaks down Victim senses growing danger, tries to avoid abuse "Minor" violence/abuse occurs Incidents occur more often Intensity increases Batterer denies, minimizes, blames external factors Batterer hopes "somehow" things will change   Crisis Phase: May last 2-24 hours, or a few days Anxiety extremely high Major, controlled violence occurs Explosive, acute, unpredictable May be serious injuries, death Abuser blames victim Victim adapts in order to survive Victim may believe escape is futile Victim may escape, returns when crisis is over Abuser may isolate victim, physically and emotionally Calm Phase: May last for days or weeks Whole family in shock at first Abuser continues to justify abuse and blame victim Abuser may be remorseful, seeking forgiveness Abuser may never explain violence - abuse temporarily ceases All are relieved crisis is past Victim worn down, accepts promises if offered Children become caretakers to "keep the peace," or survive Victim wants to believe the violence won't recur Survival via negotiation

• Anger: an emotional reaction or response
• Abuse: words or actions used to hurt, control or dominate others
• Rage: a potentially destructive expression of suppressed anger

What is Abuse?

Abuse usually begins as emotional abuse. By that we mean we attempt to change or control others through the use of words or actions that are not physically damaging. When that form of abuse begins to lose its effectiveness, we attempt to change or control others through physical means. Usually, the physical abuse begins, as did the emotional, in a small way and increases over time. Sexual abuse, like the other forms of abuse, begins in a small way and increases over time into a larger problem.